MOOD TO CHANGE

             
                               
                                            

Weight of finite upbringing and carved influences

vividly cemented thoughts order repetitive actions

most lacking lustre and genuine intent

robotic mode switched on enough times

anger, jealousy and irritation spilling out of seams.

Efforts persevere to deny and block negativity 

The might revels in its well-reharsed stubborn habit

Tried time and again to pitch

Makeshift tents of compassion and affinity

The cruel storm of impatience breathes

morning, noon and night

Change carves with cold deliberation

Grace trickles in as hide and seek

mustering to fill the hollow  

The umbilical cord snaps one day

chirping squeals of delight

toe of positivity steps in

wriggling room for more

Eh not bad, isn't it, nudges patience! 

Compassion and empathy queue behind, 

all padded for the onslaught

anger and impatience sedated to hibernate.

Mind and body substituting reaction with response

Subtle shift of thought and will to empower the pauses

Toddler beginnings for new tidings.

UNSUNG

Ambulances scuttling through streets,

Is it in Syria, Palestine, Yemen or Ukraine?

Forest fires vaporising houses, livelihood and people

Is it in Hawaii, Canada, or Australia? 

Bombings in mosques, synagogues and embassies

Is it in France, Pakistan or America?

Bodies knotted in boats, some capsized, some breathing,

Are they from Mexico, Afghanistan or Sudan?

Numbers losing count.

Bodies, toys and memories

pulled out by faces unexpected,

supporting the grieving and the lonely.

Relief pouring in, unheard hands donating,

a Yuan, a Euro or a Rial, sparse but welcome.

Distant eyes offering compassion, 

blanketing clothes and medicine.

Hope assembling in all shapes and forms,

shedding their layer of offering.

Silently seeking not holiday destinations,

but war-torn areas and disaster hit zones,

coating the needy with warmth.

Disqualified for ramp walks, 

or invading paparazzi clicks.

Each one a polished gem.

Melting marvels all around 

their fragrance blooming withering buds,

their touch bandaging assorted bruises,

their gesture roofing homeless walls.

Beacons of gentleness and charm

missed by artists, poets and awards,

diverse ethnic contours, 

each one a paragon of attraction 

practising the greying habit of giving.

REVISITED

The old flowery album sticking my smile,

unmatured head lost in itself, not a whiff of responsibility.

Slithering away from boulders 

earlier chores done for pats and compliments.

A facade of pampered duplicity

the original asphyxiated

fangs of stress and aches rewarded imitation, 

the sting too acidic to digest.

Bursting dam of tears and guilt, 

past smile scratching my present wound.

Desperate to delete earlier self,

hounded internet and spouse

both weary, one responded, other supported,

a meditation retreat popped up.

Half a dozen years since then, serenity protruding more often,

meditation brought my besties along, mind coughing words,

into poems, limbs throbbing to exercise better.

Chores magnetic pull seeming bit alluring,

black couch gluing me for puzzles and reading, 

nose rumbling for old book shop's smell during holidays,

moods lessening the swing speed,

Bit by bit inching to scrape the unpleasant

a daily trip to extract and preserve the me I found.

A TRAVELLER'S NARRATIVE

The rumbling train wheels match the matured silence 

Both in perfect synchronisation of their own

journey of wheels resting at stations

journey of the couple smooth as blowing aircon air.

Unsaid words stuck on her chain and his blue shirt

understood emotions pasted on the tea lips

some concealed words on his grey moustache

some on her golden ring. 

Fifty-six years of uphill and downhill

each situation so unfamiliarly familiar

occasional silences of hurt and anger

still slipping from her wrinkles. 

His new bangled neckline 

matching her sagging arms

both dripping affection as a rusty tap. 

Both looking out for each other,

their warmth competing with 

the heat of the spicy Indian curry

served in meals on train.

The fluctuating bulb's settled dust

dimming their unsettled greying knots 

Joint experiences thicker than a thread bundle

stretch of train track lengthier than their future

words insufficient to fill every pause and stop

language trying hard to keep their full-fledged relation.

FAMILIAR FREQUENCY

7.55 am, Saigal's crispy nasal twang accompanying dad's voice,
mom occupied in kitchen dishing out breakfast.
Dad ironing school blue tunics and polishing black shoes,
me and my sis arranging timetables in tin school boxes.

8.10 am, dad tuning to voice of Barun Haldar reading news,
the house savouring soft pancakes in hushed silence.
Little ears straining to absorb gigantic world in few minutes,
scribbling breezy headlines to read at morning school assembly.

8.30, radio exchanging ears, dad leaving for work,
half an hour of melodious Hindi movie songs
mom stilling our bobbing heads for neat plaits,
the brown song book noting down favourite numbers.

9.00 am, radio left to guard the locked house,
day flies, evenings usher in homework and studies.
7.30 pm, radio gets attached to family again,
Vividh Bharathi airing songs saluting the armed forces.

Weekends evenings Hindi dramas broadcasted,
cricket match months, heartbeat jumping,
at every six and four relayed
radio, the fifth beaming member of a family.

A READING RELATION

 A part of daily life of mine,

time spent with you is priceless,
A treasure house,
available for pittance.

Everyone can reach you,
Discrimination out of your reach
old or new, each time you surprise me.

I can never have enough
Try sneaking you in my bag always!
You are greatest travel comfort.
Tired, or upset, I pick you up,
and forget my troubles.

I temptingly drown in world of yours
Thirty to forty minutes soaking you,
calms me down.
Just you in my hands and
the conversation we have
is incalculable.

The amazing wealth you offer me,
expecting nothing in return
each time I hold you,
the comfortable feeling comes back,
your touch beckons me again and again.

You unravel mysteries, you lay bare relations,
you hook me to go on and on,
your ending appetite speaks volumes,
with you in my hand, I do not feel alone.

I owe you my stability, my serenity, my enthusiasm.
You arrive each time with a new name and in a different size.
You do not judge me, nor spite me,
Wish, I had made you a part of me earlier.

KNOTS

Enjoying the partnered skipping on rope with friends
the swings in break time, the sharing of lunchboxes at school
not a care of where the world was heading,
which country had a coup, or which country had a war.
No over thinking of what was eaten, or what allergies it would gift.

No religious knots, no racial knots, the only known knots,
of white shoelaces on P.E. day in school.
No panic of shootouts, no scare of terrorist attacks
never heard of deforestations or wildfires.

Never hesitant to talk or help strangers,
muddled mind now sceptic of facial breaks.
Fingers savouring the touch of pen and pencil,
never envisaged their unwanted upgradation to
swipes, likes and dislikes.

Innocent eyes familiar to the sky, chirping birds and starry nights,
squint to locate a star in a skyline of smog.
No malls or food courts to spill overfilled bellies and cupboards,
simple homemade recipes shared over warm company.

No YouTube or google screaming recipes and playlists,
scribbled song and cuisine books languish tattered.
Not carrying phones for clicking and no poses
just simple group photos and visits to the studio to process reels.

Stability, frowned down upon today,
human values wobble still unclear,
when to rest and where to rest.
an unending Ferris wheel,
collapsed mind and body refusing to pause.

Death the final pause, knots broken free at last,
the last change of mortal greed.

BLANKET

The hesitant moon still not out of bed 

a warm cappuccino might awaken it up

snuggled in clouded blanket

tossing and moping over the long night ahead.

Blanket slowly exchanging hands

human beings sneaking into theirs

few tossing and turning 

restlessness, the moon and twin birds for company.

Day's exhaustion drugs the privileged

a handful, see their last moonlit night.

The barren tree, crossed it's prime,

sticking neck out for the pair to doze.

The insular moon cloaked in calm azure  

fidgety blankets adoring the candyfloss look

the rest tucking its serene peace.

Twin birds disregard the cotton candy above

buffet of breath-taking appetites down below

buildings, towers, offices, malls, villas

each man made outwitting the other,

fast food, homemade food, 

oriental or occidental, 

litter sending aromatic signals,

tree-top the precise angle,

lunar light highlighting the senses.

 

A SWEEP

 

I sum of the current fifty-four years
nineteen thousand and seven hundred days
the near split
cuddled, fed and protected
grew to hundred and sixty-five centimetres.

Days and centimetres of life twisted as a herringbone
fogged truant brain relishing hide and seek
negativity varnishing inches of malice
mirror shrinking reflection a few centimetres
guilt strapping the stress.

Some days, scrubbed squeaky clean
monsters of misdeeds on a soporific break
lathery foam toting up in air
obsequiously touching some with kindness.
Image stretching the shrunk centimetres
beaming smile of towering happiness
as the bloom of the jacarandas.

The impish youth, the helmetless rides
the banned triples on scooter
foolish grins at traffic police
puncturing teacher's bikes
blind to repercussions


peeping grey streaks, henna at the roots
Camera fooled, poses galore, striving side angles
camouflaged bulges, coated wrinkles
the indiscreet youth smirking
Reel swipes fast forward

The supportive mother, the thoughtful daughter
the friendly sister, the reliable wife
the irritating mother, the sulking daughter
the mischievous sibling, the nagging wife
the uncensored acts of my script

Abseiling towards twenty thousand days
incapacitated to decipher number of
centimetres partitioned for light and darkness
Mathematics, the textbook donated after tenth grade

Juggling after half a century on the planet
still decoding, remonstrating, rising, sulking, smiling
some encounters with self surprise me
and some nag as buzz of cicadas.

Muscling to move on, competent to realise
subtraction or division incompletes me.
Addition and multiplication of goodness
forms a perfect whole of holes.

CIRCLE

Painted nails, henna filled palms,

masculine palm, the shiny golden ring

radiant grins holding garlands,

friends and cousins, their present cheer leaders.

Respective groups lifting the bride and groom,

none bowing, the giggly peals accompanying the music,

the hall in all its splendour, guests clapping and cheering,

at long last, both garland the other, both sides claiming the win.

Hands clasped, some chrysanthemum petals,

stuck on their attires, they seek blessings,

fat garlands stopping their necks,

weight of marriage too early to decipher.

Stitched white and yellow chrysanthemums, 

bloomed apart yet bound,

suiting the newly wedded couple.

Sneaking red and pink roses 

their streaks heightening the wedding glow.

The adorned hall of jasmines and marigolds

the bedecked stage of lilies and tuberoses

the wedded pair's circle of life begins, 

aroma of mixed reactions, the perfect backdrop.

The flowers wither, the garlands tossed aside.

Duty carried out, shrivelled flowers, 

bid adieu to the bride and groom,

hoping the pair rehearse the

tender symphony of trust and warmth.

Shrunken they may be one day like the garlands,

yet should guard each seam and stitch of the

beauty of togetherness.

MOODS

Lips rounding to squeeze the juicy mango,
licking pulp streaming down fingers,
humming flies on the bin outside
looking for their share of peels.
Water cooler's thirst for buckets of water
pickled mango pieces filling ceramic pots
school books lazing on shelves,
hot afternoons
cajoling snoring siestas.


Wet mud on shoes, bicycle itching for a daily shower,
frogs polishing their singing on little puddles.
Slithery earthworms sneaking through front door,
dripping umbrellas fluttering in wet winds
screeching cars spraying puddle water,
pedestrians gifting expletives to the driver.
Mum's vexation at damp clothes and the hiding sun
Showers assembling the family,
for crispy fritters and hot cardamom tea
Rains, a moist break
for caked earth and denizens.


Teeth grinding refusing to be brushed,
the tap spouting cold water.
Fingers hugging hot cups of milk,
refusing to let go, woollens filling the cupboard.
Scribbling letters on foamy glass windows
other rooms envious of the kitchen
bouncing hot soupy slurps and aromas,

familial warmth tucked in various layers. 

COASTLINE

Beaches of crevice in every relationship

pricking granular thoughts tombing castles.

The saline sting rupturing the human core,

pebbled cobwebs tossing the mossy ache.

Every individual a marooned island

entangled in their own web,

cargo of bonds too heavy to slither,

drifting brains scouting for a balmy anchor.

The barnacles of attachments 

the inborn lull easily contaminated.

The sun glistening the mirage of waves, 

the pacifying cove luring the agitated buoy.

Some voyages end, piled at sea bottom,

the other's still sailing, their sandy footprints,

rehearsing residual lives.

VULNERABLE

Teeming millions blood glistening the mighty black soles

destinies minced in the polish of that one despot,

contours and jaw lines vary. 

Blitzing power and hatred, the perfect manure,

irrigating acres of stone heart massive enough to lather ego.

Innocent lives forming the fodder, their fates calligraphed,

a tyrant's lust for his own karma. 

Roofs and walls incapacitated to shield the proletariat,

metamorphosis of embedded wails and shrieks 

fortunes hitting rock bottom,  

some tiny hands deciphered, some orphaned,

some limbless, wonder where they went wrong.

Ravenous appetite for pages in history syllabus

despots amass masses, puncturing heartbeats on the way.

Countable faint breaths rasp in agony,

only to be figured just as a word in syllabus.

The shoe varies, size changes, times change,

the commoner remains the same, the whole world on his platter,

unaware mortals just a tap away, no blemish on the shoe,

their karmas entwined for a faceless doom. 

My Indian train journeys

 The frenzy of assisting parents in packing suitcases,

the pleasure of jumping on them till it clamps tight

the thrill of shutting all doors and windows

me and my sister bidding bye to our bedroom

frantic search for tiny locks and exact keys for all suitcases.

The rickshaw slowly pulling at the station to the smell of salted cut mango peices

and tangy puffed rice in paper cones

The endless tug at mom for the 25 paise coin to check weight till the train arrives

Counting of the compartments till the train stops

The excitement to occupy the window seat and stretch hands out 

Catching the train at the bend watching the engine puff and cough.

Groping teen eyes reading the names of co passengers stuck on compartment door,

wishing for some handsome guy to be a co traveller for the 24 hour journey

the disappointment at seeing aged men and ladies 

the thrill to buy Archie novels and Pai comics at  A.H Wheeler bookshops on stations

the feel of home bedsheet on train's berth and dozing off 

to awaken to different train announcements.

Listening to Dad's continuous chatter with other passengers,

the enjoyment of eating along with co- passengers, 

sharing each other's delicacies, eagerly climbing up and down the 

top and lower berth

playing cards and reading new town names pass by

drinking tea from little hot earthen pots

fritters and pancakes guys selling food on our faces

the lovely aromas too hard to resist.

The scanning for the uncle who used to come to receive,

the hugs and giggles, the ride back to their home, 

the beginning of the summer holidays.

 

Bend faces on screens, wires, earpods and cables for company

the conversations with rectangular inanimate objects,

pouts, clicks and selfies, posts, likes and insta uploads

the new journey of today's teens.

MANGLE

 

Flibbertigibbet, gossip and chatter seated on a bench, 

query each other, "What do we have in common."

The singsong chorus echoes "repetitive letters in each word".

The reiterative trait resembling human nature, 

draining energies in its indulgence, a daily itinerary for many,

a difficult practice to shrug off, eroding smoothness in many a relationship.

Men pointing fingers at women for perfecting the art,

office vending machines, smoking alleys begging to differ.

Majority relishing it's flavours, a few handfuls skimming the veracity.

Egoistic mind enjoying its spread, juicy punches promoting facial exercise,

coffins and funerals insufficiently strewing gossips of the dead,

breathing mortals stitching it over time.

Social media, news, its newfound besties,

day or night, any corner of the globe,

scandals on sandals trot and quench 

mundane insatiable appetite for oxytocin.

One breeds the other, hearsays multiply,

written words displace countless canards,

history rewritten and taught,

rumour mocks at the real truth,

binned in the park's litter.  

OBSERVATIONS

The Indian mother daughter duo's American accented chats,

the quiet infant clasping finger of cuddling father,

sleepy pyjamas snuggling my neighbour,

black shawl sneaking her pretty contours,

front seat resting her painted toes.

A journey shared with strangers. 

Reeboks and Nike's immersed in cat walks,

accompanying duty bound smiles of air hostesses, 

The six feet pilot stooping to enter the cockpit,

an occasional chime scurrying the airhostesses.

Mingled thoughts floating in the clouds above.

The blue polka dotted carpet bouncing off emotions,

tapping tattooed hands, golden bangles and fit bits. 

Continents resting on tray tables,

groggy passengers adjust to time zones.

Destination visible, sudden rush to open seatbelts,

the little boy practising the newly learned A, B, C's. 

Panel's letters enjoying the importance,

await the next set of companions. 

REACTION

The streaming WHISPERS in the head, 

rolling into monstrous BAWL

a JOKE on human inability to control the mind.

Incessant ego DEMANDS RAGE to RESPOND

Other senses GROAN BEGGING to be orphaned

THUNDEROUS ego SHRIEKS for control

WAILS hitting blank walls of the inflated brain.

Mankind AGREES time and again.

Why do we lend our keyboard to others always?

For how long will we let others type our responses?

Why can't we defy the maxim?

"Every action has an equal and opposite reaction."

Mankind has domesticated beasts, caged them in zoos,

can't we tame the human mind

can't it stop exercising the moment our eyes open

can't it wait for our command or request to pursue its activity

does it not get exhausted?

The unsuspecting outside world JABBERS

their wild minds webbed in filigree of cacophony.

THE ARABIAN SANDS

A handful of sand sieves through fingers

each granule similar to the other and yet so dissimilar

coated with footprints unknown of camels and people,

concealing stories of eons

shifting witness to Beduin tribal wars and victories

textures of foreign rule

crudeness of explored oil and gas. 

Slipping through other fingers

the waves sweating a few patches, 

toes outlining them on the beach,

damp particles contrasting talcum sand,

slipping indoors

a cleaning reminder of the dusty sandstorms 

boxing another storyline

Few Arab sands caught in the eye,

wiping and draining a moist tear on the cheek

brush to feel floating sand filamented with mine.

Each one of us just like the granule, alike yet so different.

A GENUINE SOUL

Two braids accompanying an affectionate smile,

greetings of an exuberant girl of ten on a warm day,

in a place new to me and her.

The day's warmth, pale in comparison to hers

her tenderness and her doting

an inescapable find for kids who know her,

my daughter the privileged few.

Daughter of my spouse's friend, 

three years of unconditional love and support 

the lovely family our hearts tucked in.

Time compounding the warmth,

trips, holidays, festivals each outracing

the other to be more memorable with them.

Tracing the girl's progress, passing years

sketched our hearts with pride and joy.

The pigtails disappeared, tens rounding to twenties,

her affection found a new attachment for life.

Aptly named Sunanda, 

happiness and care are her permanent robes.

An independent girl settled in a different continent,

every mention of hers glows her parents faces.

Scattering enthusiasm, her second nature

friendliness, her first.

Fortunate is the guy, who found this jewel,

and wealthy the family whose surname she will carry.

FLEETING IMPRESSIONS

 Cuddly pigeons on the bent swinging branch

stare at the silhouettes in the window,

outlines trapped in their own thoughts

the window masking their inner narratives.

Faces clashing feelings of passers by

captured and delivered to residents

The flapping pigeons, teeming pedestrians

unaware of unpaid bystander's glances

meet their day's claims.

Decoding encrypted ponderings

the occupied window glass sill

reflects the occupants' contemplations

a by stander's occasional gaze

bounces the sentiment.

Dusting perceived mortal imprints

the pair of pigeons soar above

the window caricaturing their outline.

AWARENESS

 FINDING YOURSELF -CONTEST

Too many sides of me, some sides discarded now

bits and pieces dispersed across places lived

sides of carelessness, impatience and ego

each side outwitting the other

added toppings of sensitivity and moodiness

a layered crust of damage crystallized. 

Inundated with bursting negativity

stress enthusiastically perched and nested 

multiple choices available 

aches and pains using body as an Airbnb.

Sunk in debris trenches deep, 

soot covered ounces of me 

gasped for therapeutic scrubs to exfoliate.

Relentless inability to sort myself out

tested many Google quacks.

Times loathing the garbage accumulated

at times, relief for picking a new trail.

Gaping at shocking footprint 

of inner frailties

learning to be with myself

discerning the real me.

Trudging, unlocking life's riddle with different keys

few priceless carved keys added to my bunch.

Appreciation for the tortoise, whose pace 

mimicked unfastened a me, unaware of. 

Each new day, a search of me by me.