Wednesday, April 27, 2011


My eyes halt
At an alphanumeric piece
Lying on the road
Amidst splintered glass
A disfigured car number plate
Black painted on white
My mind still wondering
About the unlucky travellers
My sneakers then feel a poke
A stained pink hair clip
Mistaking me for the owner
Maybe a beautiful little girl
Wore to match her outfit
Little did she knew
That the day was a mismatch
Few strands caught in the clip
Her curly hairs deserved more
A blur in my eyes
Back of the palm still moist
Another mate in grief stares
A swaying water bottle
The lipstick mark still intact
The lingering kiss leaving
The loved ones in anguish
The cupboard in the room
Waits for the clip
Lifeless legs drag me home
I still have many mornings to walk
But a last journey
For someone unprepared.

Sunday, April 24, 2011


Oh! The power and pleasure of words
Many kingdoms fallen
Many hearts won

Consonants and vowels
Forming new alliances
Expressing different thoughts

Some words do not leave me
Some do not befriend me
All cajoling tricks in vain

Some words just edge themselves
On the tip of my tongue
Toying when to spill on my sheet

I get lost in this voyage
They play hide and seek
And time just flies by

The hunt for the apt word every time
Naked feelings frantic to be cloaked
Where will I get the right yarn to wrap all my thoughts?

Saturday, April 23, 2011


Did you not travel with the cool evening breeze to caress my cheek?
Did you not wink at me along with the humming stars and moon?
Did you not leave your footprints in the swaying green meadows for me to walk?
Did you not entwine hands with mine on sun-kissed beaches?
I try to feel you everywhere.

I lost count of the winters that passed by
The tiny sapling we planted now touches the sky
I search for you everywhere, but you decide to be your elusive self
I am no less obstinate, I wait for you at the bend where we last bid goodbye
The bend is still there and our song still plays.

Monday, April 18, 2011


The fun to own each nanosecond
The freedom to ignore ringing phones
The bliss of not answering mails
The thrill to become obscured
The elation to detach from all
The longing to be insignificant
Is this the start of a new journey?

Innumerable friends, few memorable faces
Wonderful memories, endearing associations
Few agonizing moments and moist farewells
The highs and lows of each relation
But, I seem to have had my fill
My bruised heart and weary soul
Gasping for space amidst the choking muddle
Is it some deep pain yearning to heal?

Waking up with an unhurried pace
I now let the day sink into me slowly
Watching the sparrow pecking my front glass door
Catching the rays forcing through the curtain slit
My eyes seem in no rush to wander around
Noticing the intricate patterns on the amulet on the wall
Emoting the painted characters on the tiny Japanese fan
Does the day melt into night so impeccably?

I desire to live in the moment
And create my own world where everyone's trivial
The bliss of being in this self created nothingness
I choose whom to converse with and when
I expend energies on one task a time
My sine curve moods figuring how to even out
Isn’t my mind seeking some solace?

I no more despair handling this vacuum
Silence has many voices
Our moody vibes evolving a pattern
Vacuity overwhelming my senses
I spot a shape and turn around
It’s my own silhouette against the fading sunlight.

For the past couple of months, I perceive a need in me to distance myself from familiar ties. The urge is getting stronger day by day. I feel an inherent pull to withdraw from most relations. My time and energy suddenly seem so much precious to me and I do not feel obligated to share them.This wasn’t the case even a few months back. Having been a people’s person, I have always looked for ways to just step out of the house and explore avenues to meet people. Staying indoors was never my cup of tea. I used to pride in initiating conversations and maintaining friendships. Age, sex, status, looks were never an impediment. The enthusiasm to be amidst innumerable voices would goad me to stretch myself.

I find it very easy to smile. This natural instinct helped me break barriers and form friendships. This has been my way of life for many years. I found it hard to believe, that people found conversing and socialising a difficult art. Mobiles, mails and social net working sites seemed a blessing in disguise to me. All these connecting tools saved me from being marooned. An exhilaration set in me for linking me back to my contacts.To go that extra mile for someone would raise my spirits high. My ego would get the much desired boost. Some relationships did bruise me though. However, I swallowed my pride, since all that mattered was the joy in having them. Added to it, the toughest bit has been to say ‘No’ to friends. The thought of disagreeing with someone would emotionally wrench me and so I would go with the flow.

Thus this inner change comes as a surprise to me. These days I do not wish to step out of my cocoon. The very thought of meeting someone and indulging in small talk, all seem a waste. In fact, there’s a strong itch to keep away from certain people, whom I have been tolerating for long, for the simple reason of courtesy. I do not have any enthusiasm left when it comes to friendships. Investing in any sort of relationship seems an emotional drain. I have no idea what has brought these changes in me. But I feel so much at harmony with myself. I do not wish to offer justifications to anyone. I would like to keep myself away from anyone to whom I am accountable. Earlier, I used to dread handling loneliness. But now I started appreciating the value of tranquillity. All the inner turbulence is springing to the surface and is getting released out. Mind is more clutter-free and has fewer thoughts to brood about. Solitude is so blissful. I am discovering a part of me that had got lost in the chaos of life.

Friday, April 8, 2011


Roads fenced with stretches of foliage
Nature wrapped in a sheet of green
Rafflesias, orchids and towering palm trees
Whispering brooks in tropical rain forests
The sheer beauty of tropical rains
Sprinkling drops on rambutans and durians
A healing caress to every mind and soul
The black hornbill flapping its wings
The lazy iguana crossing the road
Fisherman setting out for the shrimping catch
With families stretched on picnic mats
The enthusiastic golfers with caddies in tow
Flinging lumps of green with every blow
The river awaits its turn each morning
For offshore guys in colourful overalls
The office goers drive with their fog lights
On roads obscured by forest fire haze
The South China Sea spilling on road
Warning the dwellers to stay indoors

A desire to soak in this landscape forever
But each day a harsh reminder
Of cherished images fading into a distant horizon.

My husband informed that he got a better opportunity in Middle East and we would be moving in few months. The new place does not have a single natural water body and is a complete desert. The thought of leaving always saddens me, but I had never imagined in the wildest of dreams that there would come a time in my life when simple pleasures of life such as the touch of green grass, sight of cascading rainfall or smell of beautiful flowers would seem a luxury.

I have tried to express these feelings in the poem.