The HYPOCRITE

I feel, I have always been a hypocrite. Always lived life to impress others, even today I rush at the very first instance to impress everyone around me.  Even if it's my husband, if he gets up early, the moment my eyes open, I rush to make tea. For once its a stark reminder that I need to take care of myself and labelling is such a strong term which slowly gets ingrained in our minds.

I will slow down, assess take time out for myself as to why week after week, the calf muscle pain is increasing. Is it really due to me ignoring my body signals? Let me not be a hypocrite with myself anymore.

As regards the shoulder pain, the chiropractor said that my shoulders are just dangling without any strength. Should I look for an exercise to strengthen in addition to  existing shoulder exercises? Or should I continue these and accept that they are here to stay and not attach myself to the thought. That will be my first level of hypocrisy gone.

Secondly, I have to accept that I am looking for perfection at every nook and corner, and that I need to ignore it. Similarly at that time, I also need to not let myself affected by people's perception of my life.

The other crucial aspect is in true sense erasing the word constant comparison, which is a stress creator. It  has and is undermining my life. So tomorrow when I practice diffusion exercise, I will think of this scenario. Also, its ok if I have not sent the greetings or responded. I was tired, accept it.(SELF TALK)

Another quality is  not to allow one person to dominate my  thoughts and give undue space in my head. Let them post whatever they want, let me move on. These thoughts are self harming in nature. 'You need not be the centre of every conversation. In fact its better like that, because then you will be revealing less about yourself'. Absolutely well said, So listen more and listen attentively.

To conclude, l need to listen not only to others, but to myself and my body too. Every signal is a cue and so let me not allow the cues to pile up. Guess, that's it for now...