Who am I, I often ponder
The mind throws a blank stare
startled at this new question
it strings words together
hmmm,
maybe an amalgamation
of emotions, thoughts, memories and incidents
or maybe veins, arteries, limbs wet in red fluid.
submerging I picturise the unseen in the brain
some emotions corroded, some eroded in debris
few cheerful as the sunrise
some unwanted gnaw in periods
several in abyss, intellect psyched to look.
Is this my definition,
or labels of daughter, cousin, friend
wife, mother, acquaintance or stranger identify me.
every label with its own expiry date
some wear out premature
handful may sink in the horizon of amnesia
each label fattened again and again
with expectations and desires.
Or am I a nature's spec
just like the trees, the ocean, the hills, sand and mud
each so diverse from the other, yet incomplete without the other
the mind blank again
blindfolded vowels and consonants
grope in self-created darkness.
My visualisation an unsuccessful attempt
I sigh, my midlife query remains unanswered
The doorbell rings, my mind and body
in a default zone garb the apt label
spec adjusts to the role
limbs enact the part.